Why do I blog?

From the reactions, I got from people, I notice that some of the readers do not really understand why I started blogging and why now. This month it is 6 years ago I made the hardest choice of my life and left the cult and the faith I grew up in. You can read more […]


OMG my first concert in an arena

In a lifetime there are a lot of first times. And the last few years I have done a lot already that I wasn’t allowed to do before. In the Message, most of any entertainment was kind of forbidden since it was from the Devil. Clapping and cheering was idol worshipping. Worldly music was off […]


I am sorry, I did it too.

This is not the first time I have said this. But I am sorry. Sorry for how I treated the people when I was in the Message. I was on my high horse looking down to everyone who didn’t accept the Message as truth. I condemned everyone who didn’t live the Message life by the […]


Spiritual abuse: They kept track of my period

If you don’t know what Spiritual abuse is you can learn about it in my first blog-post about this subject: Spiritual abuse: Some abuse is not physical. In my last blog-post Spiritual abuse: our first encounter I told about our first encounter with our last pastor and his elder. For me, that was the first and […]


Spiritual abuse: Our first encounter

In my last post: Spiritual abuse: Some abuse is not physical, I explained what spiritual abuse is. I have to make clear that in ‘The message’, which is an international cult, you have pastors who are really sincere and only want the best for “their” people. But in my experience, unfortunately, the majority of the […]


Spiritual abuse: Some abuse is not physical

What is spiritual abuse? Spiritual abuse happens when a spiritual authority, such as a cult leader or abusive pastor, wants to control you and want completely obedience. A spiritually abusive group often claims that they are the only ones that have the right doctrines. They often claim that salvation only depends  on belonging to their […]


I lost my music, where do I start?

Music has always been a big part of my life. My mum and dad always sang and played different instruments. They would preform in our church, on conventions and in local churches. When I was 4 years old I sang second voice and didn’t take long until they would let me sing with them. At […]


Freedom of religion and its dilemma

Children should be free

Last night I sat down with my daughter Nathalie. We were talking about freedom of religion and the impact religion has on children. I knew she had nightmares as a little child but I didn’t know it was because of what she heard in church every Sunday. As adult you might forget that, no matter […]


No Lightning nor Thunder

To say the words “I am getting older” scare me sometimes. There are so many things I always wanted to do and wasn’t allowed to and now I feel a big part of my life has been wasted and there is so much to catch up on. But when I look in the mirror and […]


Lost and found

Ever felt totally lost? Not knowing who you are and who you have become. When someone random, asks you the question “who are you” and it made you break down in tears because you can’t find the answer. When you have lived your whole life in a closed community. Where you got isolated from people […]